MAPPING

KITCHEN: A room in the suburban home in which whispered fights occur during lunches and parties.

LIVING ROOM: A room in the suburban home which is guided and sound-tracked by scheduled DSTV programming.

DINING ROOM: A room in the suburban home in which one takes Concerta and spends four hours of loadshedding writing an essay and then worrying that, if one goes to sleep, one will be so focused on sleeping that one won’t wake up again.

BATHROOM: A room in the suburban home with orange linoleum tiles and a shower head that shoots out a thick pipe of water.

MASTER BEDROOM: A room in the suburban home in which a murderous clown hides according to a BBM chain message that makes Grade 6’s cry.

PATIO: An area outside the suburban home where one shares pasta with a toddler.